Why do I have tinnitus? Why not my mates who went to the same gigs? Why now? Why in one ear and not the other? Why does the sound change? Why, why, why?
As my Mum used to answer all my annoying childhood questions, the answer is often “just because”.
Asking “why?” assumes the world is fair and just. We must be owed a good life without suffering and since it did not work out that way, there must be a reason why. If we suffer, it must be for a reason.
In some cases, our own actions – such as going to gigs or clubs without ear protection - or the actions of others – being hit in the head – cause our tinnitus. But we still don’t know why tinnitus happens to a lot of people. We don’t know why some people who were exposed to very loud noise get it and the people standing next to them don’t. And it’s quite possible we won’t have those answers in our lifetime.
Asking “why” is like climbing onto the hamster wheel of death. Despite hours Googling, on social media and trawling through tinnitus forums, chances are you may never find what you are looking for. Instead all you’ll have to show for it is a waste of time and energy, and deep frustration that there is no answer. The more you look, the more frustrated, angry, anxious or depressed you become. That, quite frankly, is no way to live your life.
And even if you did find the answer…would it get rid of your tinnitus? Very unlikely.
Asking “why” is looking back at a past you cannot change.
Today I want you to stop asking “why”. Just stop. You will never be able to answer the question and will only suffer if you continue.
Instead of wasting time on “why”, try out some new and more life-enriching questions:
“What” can I do to make my life better now that I am suffering with tinnitus?
“How” can I reach my life goals with my tinnitus? How can I live the best life possible?
“Who” is responsible for creating the life I want if not me?
“When” is the best time to stop asking why? I'll answer that one for you - right now.