Watch your language!

January 25, 2018

 

“You idiot! How could you have thought she said that?!”

 

“You’re so boring not going to that gig. I’m surprised you’ve got any friends left.”

 

“Why bother tarting yourself up? Nobody wants to date someone deaf”

 

Does any of this sound familiar? Now, go back and read those three statements again. Go on, it’ll take you 5 seconds.

 

Did you notice something… as well as being based on assumptions (I’ll be blogging about that another day) they’re all things we say to ourselves. It’s called self-talk. And it has immense power over how we feel. In fact it can quickly make us feel dreadful -- chipping away at our self-confidence and self-esteem.

 

If someone else was putting us down the way we do it to ourselves, our self-defence mechanism would be on high-alert and we’d probably defend ourselves. But negative self-talk is subconscious; we rarely notice it and so don’t challenge it. We just absorb those negative thoughts until we come to believe them as reality.

 

Well you know what? It’s time for us to stop talking to ourselves like that. Here are 3 quick ways to neutralise the negativity in your self-talk:

 

  1. Notice it. Listen to your self-talk. When you talk to yourself, either in your head or out loud say STOP and examine what you’ve just said to yourself.

  2. Query it. Would you say that to someone you really care about? Would you let anyone else get away with saying it to you?

  3. Reframe it. Change the phrase to reflect what you feel, but without the blame. So for example you could change the first sentence above from:

 

“You idiot! How could you have thought she said ?!”

 

To:

 

“I am so embarrassed I misheard what she said. But I can’t hear well so it’s not surprising I make mistakes.”

 

Here’s a chance to give it a try yourself with these two:

 

From “You’re so boring not going to that gig. I’m surprised you’ve got any friends left.”

 

To …………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

From “Why bother tarting yourself up? Nobody wants to date someone deaf”

 

To …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

Be courageous. Take a look at your how you talk to yourself. And if you wouldn’t allow anyone else to criticise you or someone you care for, in such a way, take the time to change your self-talk. Like so many things it’s a habit, and habits take time to break. But it will happen. And you’ll feel a lot better for it.

 

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Please reload

Recent Posts
Please reload

  • Grey Twitter Icon
Professional Member Logo 2019 2020.jpg

© 2019 The Hearing Coach. Created by Hartan Design